Spewing forth our illustrious publication has been a rewarding trick for all involved. I have pinned down a number of reasons why.
SpickGram has become sickened to none as an Equal Opportunity Inter Prize. We disfavour discrimination on the grounds of brain size, grant size, shoe size, or licked.
We are linguistically disparate. We literally feed on language diversity, and this is what makes us rich. Our composite vitas feature Malteser, Guaraná, Quichua, Turkeyish, and Kiwi, though all in moderation: we shun Hill Billies, our cosmopolitan counterpart to the localised Dilly Billy Syndrome.
Interns are only flogged if caught nicking towards the Bid Room. We do not condone wanton accumulation of incoming litters on our disks.(1)
Our databases and interknit facilities boast top SASTM (Spick Anti-
Our Inter Prize’s policies pioneered discontinuation of standard middle-
We have also discontinued obsolete financial practices: we no longer issue or take receipt of chicks as payment for bills
Staff positions (including MagnetsTREY-TM) are allocated on the basis of differential behaviour towards our Dear CEO (sometimes fondly called Chief Innovating Oberon, for unerringly calling forth a progeny of evils out of every debate), by the CEO.
We thus owe what we are and what we do to our Dear CEO. His signature modus operandi mirrors his emotional disposition, in that he is mostly found billowing around us(2) in fluent Spick GarbMULTI-TM, while we quietly slave away in our Sanctum Sanctorum (sometimes fondly called Din, for no reason).
Lastly but most importantly, ours is the only linguistics publication in which spilling creativity is proactively sought, on our firm persuasion that any words any contributors mint any way invariably name doctrinal insight.
(1) Bo “Leero” Direk (1979) irrefutably showed why interns listening to classical music while producing copy should also be flogged.
(2) Judging by the concomitant rate of increase in his listening and related aptitudes, he will be sorely missed once he finally retires.
|The Spec—A New Measure for Linguistic Humour—Prof. Trent Slater
|Spelling Made Simple
|SpecGram Vol CLXIX, No 2 Contents