French Sues English—<i>SpecGram</i> Wire Services SpecGram Vol CLIX, No 2 Contents The Linguistic Big Crunch—M. Adam Block

A Night’s Tail
The Foibles of Spell Check

by James Coomer

Eye wondered, as the reign drops spattered on the castle mote, weather or not I, two, would fall victim to this currant rain of terror. The mere thought gave won paws. Eye kneaded to bee reassured. Wood knot eye be spared, sense eye was a fellow night? How long wood it bee before eye new? Wood eye be forced to bare arms in defense of the town’s burgers? As a town counsel, they were a wash with fear. Wood it bee the write thing to dew to ask them to stand a loan when the steaks were so high? What too dew? What two dew? I called my suns a round me, to seek there council. There advice had all ways been deer to me. As wee sat in the grate room eating dear meat and drinking bier, my suns and eye pondered our fete. Could we raze support among the burgers? If sew, when faced with the enemy’s mane force, wood they stand oar flea? Nun could tell how wee wood fair. Aye was beginning to sea read. It was a bazaar feeling. I did not no wear to turn. My suns could since that I felt one part anger and three parts Gaul. They could see that I was losing my patients. My wife sat quietly, ringing her hands. Her hart was braking. My daughter was in morning. Should I call in a wholly man for sucker? Could he dew more than prey, or sing hims? We continued to spit a wild hair on the fire and I called for more whine. What to due? What to dew? One of my suns suggested that we go aweigh. I new it was ingest. We must stay hear and fight for what was hours. I had to whey my options. Suddenly, I new what I must due. I must set my cites on what was write. I must stand on a principal. To bee or knot to bee; that would be the motto on which I would lien. At last, I felt at piece. I new not what coarse others wood take, but one thing I did no; my future lei hear protecting the manner into witch I had been born. I would right my own story. My own night’s tail to be sung to the plucking of liars down through the ages wear ever men gathered with whine and bier.

French Sues English—SpecGram Wire Services
The Linguistic Big Crunch—M. Adam Block
SpecGram Vol CLIX, No 2 Contents