<i>The Other Sino-Tibetan Languages</i>—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press SpecGram Vol CLII, No 2 Contents Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part B—Ergativity—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

International Name Testing Service

Мой паветраны човен
поўны вуграмі
— Belarusian

How do you think Mr Fookeng Ho felt when he first came to the US and discovered what his name sounds like to Americans? How about Ms Fanny Ticklerwho always thought her name sounded rather cutewhen she arrived in London and discovered that saying her own name aloud around children might get her arrested? Consider poor Richard Head, who, as a child, could never get the other kids to call him Rickythey always called him Dick, and made him cry.

Do you want experiences like these to scar your children? Of course not: no one does. But are you fluent in English, Japanese, Spanish, Korean, German,
Mon aéroglisseur est
plein d’anguilles
— French
Russian, Indonesian, French, Japanese, Italian, Chinese, Arabic, and Swahili? Of course not: no one person can be.

Are you familiar with all the nuances of hip urban slang in New York, Paris, London, Chicago, Moscow, Beijing, Mexico City, Frankfurt, Houston, Tokyo, São Paulo, Edinburgh, Seoul, Jakarta, L.A., Lima, Taipei, Delhi, Caracas, Manila, Singapore, Asunción, Cairo, Cologne, Buenos Aires, and Hong Kong? Of course not! But we are!

These languages, these cities, they are all likely to be encountered by a well-travelled, global citizen of the future. You do want your child to be a happy well-travelled, global citizen of the future, don’t you? Of course you do!

We have turned our years of personal experienceas linguists, as computer scientists, and as regular people whose parents made unfortunate choicesinto an unparalleled service:
Hoverkrafti im është
plot me ngjala
— Albanian
Send us the name you are considering for your child, and we will tell you in what languages, in what countries, in what cities your child’s name will embarrass them.

We consider:

Every employee of the International Name Testing Service has lived with this problem, personally and professionally, so your child won’t have to. Can you put your trust in us? Of course you can!

We are International Name Testing Service
Founder and CEO
Emma Royds

Faithful Cock
Anita Dick
Peter Schmuck
Harold Zhaft

Harold Beaver
Everard Dick
Gentle Fudge
Michael Hunt
Olive Martini
Front Office
Ruby Ivory Pearl Deadman
Ima Griesedick

Jet Black
Strong Boozer
Harold Pennes

Overseas Offices
Gang Bang (China)
Harald Bitsch (Germany)
Truth Bollocks (England)
Anil Dikshit (India)
Mai Thi Ho (Vietnam)

The Other Sino-Tibetan Languages—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press
Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part B—Ergativity—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.
SpecGram Vol CLII, No 2 Contents