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1. “Double-Dot Wide O / Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill”by J–––– J––––––Reviewed by Jonathan van der Meer (32 visits)

“Double-Dot Wide O / Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill” by J–––– J––––––. From Speculative Grammarian CLI.3; July 2006. Reviewed by Jonathan van der Meer. ... Double-Dot Wide O, Spoiler Alert !. It’s been more than eight years, so I’m going to go ahead and let you in on a little secret: the nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trill is a pig snort, and the double-dot wide O looks like a pig snout. (Some phoneticians will argue that they themselves produce a uvular trill. They probably doespecially when reading journals less interesting than SpecGrambut ... more ]

2. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Computational Linguist, Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill, ChomskyA Not-Quite-New Game for Every LinguistPhlange Kadigan (14 visits)

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Computational Linguist, Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill, Chomsky, A Not-Quite-New Game for Every Linguist. by Phlange Kadigan, Linguistic Gamesman Extraordinaire. With the introduction in 2009 of my novel and exciting variant of Rochambeau, “Rock, Paper, Scissors, Computational Linguist, Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill, Chomsky,” I expected the game to spread like wildfire and lead to a new era of “Rochambeau 2.0” throughout Linguistics Land. Alas and alack, that has not been the case to date. I am not without hope, however. Having recently completed a very expensive series of Master Class Seminars on “Contagion-Based ... more ]

3. Vol CLIII, No 3 (6 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLIII, Number 3; January 2008, Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLIII, No 3, e + 1 = 0, MANAGING EDITOR, Trey Jones, SENIOR EDITOR, Keith Slater, EDITOR EMERITUS, Tim Pulju, ASSOCIATE EDITORS: Adam Baker, Chris Brew, Martin Hilpert, Kean Kaufmann, Ken Miner, Tel Monks, Peter Racz, David J. Peterson, Freya Shipley, Bill Spruiell, Mikael Thompson, Tom Weller, Joey Whitford, ... more ]

4. Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do? (6 visits)

Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do? Frank isn’t the only Quipley who finds himself on adventures of dubious credibility. His nephew Josh reports on a surprising discovery from his recent trip to The Netherlands. Josh Quipley just returned from Amsterdam. While the primary purpose of his visit was research into Dutch coffee,1 he also conducted inquiries into the Dutch language. It turns out that this is easier said than done, because, for the most part, the Dutch have stopped speaking Dutch! On his entire trip, which comprised Schiphol2 Airport to downtown Amsterdam and back, Josh heard almost no Dutch whatsoever. In every spoken interaction he had, the locals spoke a flawless ... more ]

5. Vol CLXXXVI, No 3 (6 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXVI, Number 3 Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Mikael Thompson, Senior Editor; Jonathan Downie, Senior Editor, Pete Bleackley, Contributing Editor; Associate Editors: Mark Mandel, Deak Kirkham; Assistant Editors: Emily Davis, Vincent Fish, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Steve Politzer-Ahles, Mary Shapiro, Megan Stevens, Daniel Swanson, Sheri Wells-Jensen; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Linguistics: The Cumin of the Academy; January 2020 ... more ]

6. Letters to the Editor (CLI.3) (5 visits)

Letters to the Editor, double-dot wide-o To the most respected Editors, In the fall I’ll be a first-year grad student in linguistics at R––– University. A couple of the current fourth-years told me that the International Phonetic Association was adding several new symbols for sounds that have previously been considered to have questionable status as phonemes. They said that the most contentious new addition was double-dot wide-O, a nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trill. I’ve leafed through several back issues of SpecGram, Language, and a few other journals. I’ve searched the Linguist List archives, and scoured the web. I can’t find anything about it ... more ] Podcast! Merch!

7. Extremist LinguisticsDennis Dossier (4 visits)

Extremist Linguistics. Dennis Dossier, Professor of Political History in Linguistics, The Δίς Λεγόμενον Centre for Endeepened Ideation. After enduring decades of the terrible tyranny of Chomskyan syntacticocentrism (as the United Nations once branded it) which launched itself on the world in 1957, syntagmophiles around the world breathed easier and easier through the 1990s as the combined power of George Lakoff’s treatment of There, there: don’t worry about it and Fillmore’s analysis of the Leave me alone construction pulled the head and then body of the Cognitive Construction Grammar baby through the birth canal of data out ... more ]

8. Sad Holiday Linguists (4 visits)

Prevent Sad Holiday Linguists—Get Them a Copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . Every holiday season, countless linguists have their celebrations ruined by thoughtless gifts given by clueless loved ones. They say it’s the thought that counts, but we know that’s only true if that thought is accompanied by at least some tiny semblance of awareness of a linguist’s hopes, dreams, and aspirations. We could try to explain those hopes and dreams and aspirations to youbut we’d have to give you a mini course on phonetics, phonology, and voice onset time first. Instead, we can assure you that SpecGram has the right gift for your linguist loved ... more ]

9. Cartoon Theories of LinguisticsPart EPhonetics vs. PhonologyHilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. (4 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology. Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. We will skip the introduction, as we have been there, done that. Once more into the breach! For this installment in our series on Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, we will turn our attention to Phonetics and Phonology and the difference between the two: Phonetics:, ... Phonology:, ... Thanks to Professor Phlogiston, of the Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn, for the opportunity of a lifetime, as a student, to, on this occasion, share with so many of my fellow linguisticians my views, as illustrated above, concerning matters, which are of such immeasurable import ... more ] Merch! Book!

10. Vol CLXVIII, No 4 (3 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXVIII, Number 4 ... Trey Jones, Managing Editor, Keith Slater, Senior Editor, Bill Spruiell, Consulting Editor, Tim Pulju, Editor Emeritus; Associate Editors: Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Mikael Thompson, Sheri Wells-Jensen; Editorial Associates: Kenny Baclawski, Pete Bleackley, Virginia Bouchard, Florian Breit, Bethany Carlson, Jonathan Caws-Elwitt, Jonathan Downie, Tel Monks, Daniela Müller, Tuuli Mustasydän, Cathal Peelo, David J. Peterson, Callum Robson, Zac Smith, Tangent Wong; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Now with 40% fewer adverbs!; December 2013 ... more ]

11. Why Typologists Rarely Get Second Dinner InvitationsBill Spruiell (3 visits)

Why Typologists Rarely Get Second Dinner Invitations. by Bill Spruiell. Morphosyntactic Type vs. Speisever­bundenheit ... Note: Cohesion computed for Esperanto based on snack pretzels at conventions. ... more ]

12. Reasons Not to Study LinguisticsPart IVDyspepsia Prater and Cynnie Sizzum (3 visits)

Reasons Not to Study Linguistics Part IV. Compiled by Dyspepsia Prater and Cynnie Sizzum, X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies. Linguists, generally, try to encourage others’ interest in their field with enticements such as, “linguistics helps us understand the human condition” “every language provides a unique view of the mind” “linguistics empowers people” “you can work in translation, interpreting, foreign language teaching, the tech industry, fieldwork, etc.” Blah, blah, blah. You see, no matter how exciting a field seems, there’s someone out there who is sick and tired of putting up with it. Rather than promise nothing but ... more ]

13. Local Linguist Mom Discovers One Weird Trick for Deriving NLP Equations!Computational Linguists Hate Her!Advertisement (3 visits)

ADVERTISEMENT Local Linguist Mom Discovers One Weird Trick for Deriving NLP Equations!, Computational Linguists Hate Her!. Do you know what makes computational linguistics better than other kinds of linguistics? It’s the math! Math is hard, and hard things are for smart people, and smart people are just better. QED. NLP is Hard!, My brain hurts!, Take for example entropyit sounds like physics, it comes with equations, and you can compute it on words, using a computer. But you know what? “Entropy” doesn’t really mean anything, and that equation doesn’t really do anything. In fact, it’s all made up! H(x) = -∑ p(x) logb ... more ]

14. Cartoon Theories of Linguistics Part 3Morphological TypologyPhineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. (3 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part 3—Morphological Typology. Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. No need for an introduction, it was covered in previous installments (on non-configurational languages and ergativity). Instead, let us proceed to the next chapter of our Cartoon Theories of Linguistics. I have provided the following cartoonish exegesis of morphological typology for your edification: ... Up next: Statistical Machine Translation. References, Baker, Mark. (1988). Incorporation: A theory of grammatical function changing. Baker, Mark. (1996). The polysynthesis parameter. Comrie, Bernard. (1989). Language universals and linguistic typology (2nd ... more ] Merch! Book!

15. Vol CLXXV, No 4 (3 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXV, Number 4 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Bill Spruiell, Senior Editor, Sheri Wells-Jensen, Consulting Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Jonathan Downie, Mikael Thompson; Assistant Editors: Virginia Bouchard, Florian Breit, Mark Mandel, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Bethany Carlson, Emily Davis, Jouni Maho, David Marino, Tel Monks, Davis Prickett, Brock Schardin, Mary Shapiro, Steve Straight, Isabelle Tellier; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; It’s Not Impossible in All Possible Worlds; April 2016 ... more ]

16. Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson (3 visits)

Linguistics Nerd Camp. Bethany Carlson. Unable to find a “real” job in phonetics, Marty turned to the hard, lonely life of a wandering street phonetician ... more ] Book!

17. LinguimericksBook ४ (3 visits)

Linguimericks, Book ४. Pragmatics!? Oh dear, is that science?? Can we tame what we mean to compliance With the forms and/or functions Of aseptic concoctions Which have earned us the grants of our clients?! —Cailín na Luimní Some fricatives hiss like a cat And others, they shush just like that, In turbulent sound And noise they abound, With bands where their spectrum’s near flat —Pumptilian Perniquity, There once pondered a typologist, weak and weary Upon an eldritch grammar of Light Warlpiri But as he nodded, nearly napping There came upon the window, tapping: Some damn bird ravin’ at his theory —Mannfrum van Tuckett, There once was an old syntactician Whose theories had come to ... more ]

18. LinguimericksBook ७० (3 visits)

Linguimericks, Book ७०. The Tenure Boogie I invented a field that no-one else would believe It’s a wondrous sub-field that no-one studies but me It got me tenure. (ooh ooh) It got me tenure. (ooh ooh), I’ve got papers in journals and editorships I’ve made theories and frameworks from data I nicked It got me tenure. (ooh ooh) It got me tenure. (ooh ooh), My big monograph made it past the reviewers But its whole readership was two (maybe fewer) It got me tenure. (ooh ooh) It got me tenure. (ooh ooh), I won’t ever do fieldwork, it’s theories for me Cause I like my plush office and my shiny PC It got me tenure. (ooh ooh) It got me tenure. (ooh ooh), My teaching load’s zero as I talk ... more ]

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Last updated Jan. 21, 2020.