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1. Vol CLXXX, No ρ (97 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXX, Number ρ ... Speculative Grammarian, in association with Psammeticus Press, is proud to present a special supplemental monograph: The Perplexed Linguist’s Guide to English Departments, by Athanasious Schadenpoodle, Trey Jones, Managing Editor Keith Slater, Executive Editor Bill Spruiell, Monograph Editor, The Perplexed Linguist’s Guide to English Departments Mid-November 2017 ... more ]

2. The Perplexed Linguist’s Guide to English DepartmentsAthanasious Schadenpoodle (93 visits)

The Perplexed Linguist’s Guide to English Departments. Now with Footnotes! Athanasious Schadenpoodle. So, Dear Reader, you have completed your Ph.D. in Linguistics (yay you!), run headlong into the grim realities of the modern job market (poor you!), broadened your ideas about possible teaching contexts (smart you!) and landed a gig in an English department (lucky you?). You’ve potentially got the base of the Maslovian pyramid covered for at least a semester, but you’re in a rather alien environment, surrounded by people who talk funny in a way that Dialectology 501 never prepared you for and who have some markedly odd folkways. Some culture shock is inevitable, but a little knowledge can go a long ... more ]

3. Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor (32 visits)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor. The age of innocence has come to an end: You are stranger in a strange landa linguist in an English department. A brave new world, it is, but you find yourself in a catch-22. While obviously not a native son,* you don’t really want to admit to being the stranger that you are. Do you endure one hundred years of solitude, known as a misanthrope and forever among the outsiders, or do you jump straight to the heart of the matter and ask for guidance from your colleagues? A fine balance must be struck, lest your reputation be reduced to a handful of dust, or, ostracized, you become an invisible man;** your career become an American tragedy, the ... more ]

4. Linguistics 897 TA Training/Practicum CourseL’École de SpecGram (11 visits)

Linguistics 897 TA Training/ Practicum Course, Spring Semester 2018, Syllabus. L’École de SpecGram, Paris (Texas), USA. Course Goal: This course is limited to Graduate students who are currently serving as Teaching Assistants. The goal of the course is to help you survive your first semester as a TA, and secondarily to prepare you for a lifetime of teaching Linguistics. Grading: A simple test will be administered at the last class session. Each student will be asked a single question, and all those who answer calmly will receive an “A” grade. Questions will be of the form What are “phonemes” and what do I need to know about them for the test? Instructor: ... more ]

5. Archives (8 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongeringfirst it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... more ]

6. Podcast—Language Made Difficult, Vol. L (6 visits)

Language Made Difficult, Vol. L — The SpecGram LingNerds are on their own this time. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the dangers of mispronouncing the names of Canadian provinces, and then advise students as to what they should *not* do. They also fail to celebrate the 50th episode. Many outtakes are provided. ... listen ]

7. Cartoon Theories of LinguisticsPart жThe Trouble with NLPPhineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. (5 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part ж—The Trouble with NLP. Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. Please review previously discussed materials as needed. Now that that is taken care of, let us consider why Natural Language Processing (or, its alter-ego, Computational Linguistics) has not been the resounding success regularly predicted by the NLP faithful: ... Up next: Lexicostatistics vs Glottochronology. References, Baeza-Yates, Ricardo and Berthier Ribeiro-Neto (1999). Modern Information Retrieval. Manning, Christopher, and Hinrich Schütze. (1999). Foundations of Statistical Natural Language Processing. Russell, Stuart J. and Peter Norvig. ... more ] Merch! Book!

8. Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics (4 visits)

Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics. by Trey Jones. As a service to our young and impressionable readers who are considering pursuing a career in linguistics, Speculative Grammarian is pleased to provide the following Gedankenexperiment to help you understand the possibilities and consequences of doing so. For our old and bitter readers who are too far along in their careers to have any real hope of changing the eventual outcome, we provide the following as a cruel reminder of what might have been. Let the adventure begin ... more ] Book!

9. About Us (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian and Our Story. The august journal Speculative Grammarian has a long, rich, and varied history, weaving an intricate and subtle tapestry from disparate strands of linguistics, philology, history, politics, science, technology, botany, pharmacokinetics, computer science, the mathematics of humor, basket weaving, archery, glass blowing, roller coaster design, and bowling, among numerous other, less obvious fields. SpecGram, as it is known to devotees and sworn enemies alike, has for centuries sought to bring together the greatest yet least understood minds of the time, embedding itself firmly in the cultural and psychological matrix of the global society while ... more ] Podcast!

10. Merchandise (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited issue SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. ... Discussion. As a result of initial positive feedback, ... more ]

11. Psammeticus PressChiasmus of the Month Awards (4 visits)

Psammeticus Press, Chiasmus of the Month Awards ... This somewhat irregular monthly award is a sign of our recognition of and deep appreciation for the authors’ contribution to the upholding of decent writing standards in academic literature and to the dissemination of the finest of speech figures. Winners are selected each month by our Chiastic Editor and Editorial Chiasturge. The honorees to date are listed below. Chiasmus of the Month, October 2017, Tore Kristiansen and Nikolas Coupland (Eds.), 2011, Standard Languages and Language Standards in a Changing Europe, Oslo: Novus forlag. Chiasmus of the Month, August 2017, Maria do Carmo ... more ]

12. The I in TeamA Letter from the Managing Editor (3 visits)

The I in Team. A Letter from the Managing Editor. The writers of business books, corporate cheerleaders in HR, and other reprobates like to say that “There is no I in team,” meaning, of course, that every team member should put aside their own ego and pull for the common good. It’s a lovely sentimentif you prefer your sentiments with a healthy dose of treaclebut it is, among many other unpleasant characteristics, ambiguous. Linguists, orthographers, and other miscreants have been quick enough to point out that a more precise formulation would indicate that while there is in fact no 〈i〉 in 〈team〉 there is most clearly an ... more ] Podcast!

13. An Introduction to Linguistics in Haiku FormAnonymous (3 visits)

An Introduction to, Linguistics in Haiku Form. Anonymous. linguistic theory, hidden representations, to surface structures phonology is, sound patterns of languages, phonemes, allophones phonetics is sounds, articulation of them, acoustics, hearing comp. linguistics is, theory into efficient, implementation morphology is, if same structure, same meaning, then it’s a morpheme syntactic theory, blah blah chomsky chomsky blah, blah chomsky blah blah ... more ] Podcast! Book!

14. The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics (3 visits)

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguisticsand now it is available in book formboth physical and electronic! We wish we were kidding, but no, seriously, we’ve published a large collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost. From the Introduction: The past twenty-five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion in language description, and even ... more ]

15. Son of Lingua Pranca (3 visits)

Son of Lingua Pranca. T. Ernst & E. Smith, Editors. Indiana University. IULC. November 1979. ... more ]

16. “Double-Dot Wide O / Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill”by J–––– J––––––Reviewed by Jonathan van der Meer (3 visits)

“Double-Dot Wide O / Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill” by J–––– J––––––. From Speculative Grammarian CLI.3, July 2006. Reviewed by Jonathan van der Meer. ... Double-Dot Wide O, Spoiler Alert !. It’s been more than eight years, so I’m going to go ahead and let you in on a little secret: the nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trill is a pig snort, and the double-dot wide O looks like a pig snout. (Some phoneticians will argue that they themselves produce a uvular trill. They probably doespecially when reading journals less interesting than SpecGrambut ... more ]

17. Masyu Ortograpiu IILinguistic BoogalooTrey Jones (3 visits)

Masyu Ortograpiu II—Linguistic Boogaloo. Trey Jones, l’École de SpecGram, Tokyo. The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™ are back with another installment of Masyu Ortograpiuan orthography-based variant of the popular yet challenging Masyu puzzle form. In fact, Masyu Ortograpiu is apparently so challenging that no one could do itso, for Masyu Ortograpiu II, we’ve made things several smidgens easier by providing copious hints about the various orthographies used in the puzzle. First, the rules. Masyu Ortograpiu is played on a grid, with several squares that contain symbols from various writing systems. The goal is to draw a ... more ]

18. Cartoon Theories of Linguistics Part 3Morphological TypologyPhineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. (3 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part 3—Morphological Typology. Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. No need for an introduction, it was covered in previous installments (on non-configurational languages and ergativity). Instead, let us proceed to the next chapter of our Cartoon Theories of Linguistics. I have provided the following cartoonish exegesis of morphological typology for your edification: ... Up next: Statistical Machine Translation. References, Baker, Mark. (1988). Incorporation: A theory of grammatical function changing. Baker, Mark. (1996). The polysynthesis parameter. Comrie, Bernard. (1989). Language universals and linguistic typology (2nd ... more ] Merch! Book!

19. Vol CLXV, No 4 (3 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLXV, Number 4, October 2012, MANAGING EDITOR, SENIOR EDITOR, EDITOR EMERITUS, Trey Jones, Keith Slater, Tim Pulju, ... CONSULTING EDITORS, David J. Peterson, Bill Spruiell, ASSOCIATE EDITORS, Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Daniela Müller, Mikael Thompson, EDITORIAL ASSOCIATES, Cem Bozsahin, Florian Breit, Jonathan Downie, Adam Graham, Tel Monks, Mary Pearce, Callum Robson, Mary Shapiro, Sheri Wells-Jensen, COMPTROLLER GENERAL, Joey Whitford, Stop Voicing Now!, ... more ]

20. The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature (3 visits)

The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature. Welcome to Online Selections from The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature, researched, compiled, and edited by the lexicographers, etymologists, and philologists of Speculative Grammarian. ... The editors of Speculative Grammarian are delighted to present selections of the fifty-volume lexicographic opus, The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature, online for the first time ever. The Compleat Encyclopaedia is a one-of-a-kind resource, ... more ]

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Last updated Nov. 18, 2017.