Most Popular Pages—Last 7 Days

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1. Amazing Language Facts You Won’t BelieveThe SpecGram Pop Culture Elves™ (54 visits)

Amazing Language Facts You Won’t Believe. The SpecGram Pop Culture Elves™. Language is an amazing thing and there are lots of languagey things you don’t knowincluding many you don’t even know you don’t know. From lingual lineages to lost linguistic theories, there are a lot of things you don’t know about language! ... more ]



2. Mix & Match ☞Max & Mitch Ninelette (44 visits)

Mix & Match ☞. by Max & Mitch Ninelette. The goal of this Mix & Match puzzle is to reconstitute a set of nine 9-letter words that have each had three bigrams removed. Below are two separate puzzles. Each includes a table to fill out and a set of bigrams with which to fill it up. Using each bigram once, fill the blanks in the table to form various nine-letter words. When you are done, three additional words will be revealed in the vertical direction for each puzzle. If you think you’ve figured out all the answersthat’s 24 nine-letter words!submit your solution to the editors of SpecGram by August 15, 2019, and you could win a prize. Solutions and winners ... more ]



3. Fables of LinguisticsThe Para-Mimetic Tale of Poss -’sThe Tale Teller of Tollerton Town (43 visits)

Fables of Linguistics, The Para-Mimetic Tale of Poss -’s. The Tale Teller of Tollerton Town. Once upon a time there was a lovely bound inflectional morpheme called Possessive -’salthough he was happy to be called “Poss -’s” for short. Poss -’s was a brave and courageous bound morpheme, unlike grumpy old Third Singular -s and schizophrenic old -ing. Especially, schizophrenic old -ing: she could never make her mind up whether she was all about tense and aspect or nominalisation. Anyway, Poss -’s was quite happy being a bound morpheme merrily attaching himself to nominal lexical roots or nominal compounds to create constructions such as “[the ... more ]



4. Vol CLXXXV, No 2 (37 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXV, Number 2 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Mikael Thompson, Senior Editor; Jonathan Downie, Contributing Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Mark Mandel; Assistant Editors: Emily Davis, Vincent Fish, Deak Kirkham, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Joe McAvoy, Tel Monks, Mary Shapiro; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Able Was I Ere I Saw Panama; August 2019 ... more ]



5. LinguimericksBook ६५ (35 visits)

Linguimericks, Book ६५. Worn out by results insufficient From my use of techniques inefficient, I sought two weeks off, But my chairman just scoffed, “I swear, haven’t you done enough fishing?” —Pumptilian Perniquity, Jean Berko Gleason, Had a very good reason, To ask children first learning words, For the plural inflection of small blue flightless birds —Clara Hu, Writing poetry; though I persist, Yet the scansions my efforts resist. Now a resource I’ve found— Timing units abound!— I’m a phonXXoloXgist —Morris Swadesh III, Philologists & Linguists “Philologist” often evokes The image of crusty old blokes Seeking out lore On the language of yore From ... more ]



6. Questions to Ask After Any Linguistics TalkJuan Point and Justin I. Dear (33 visits)

Questions to Ask After Any Linguistics Talk. Juan Point and Justin I. Dear. Academic conferences. You know you love themcatching up with your grad school cronies; checking proudly on the progress of your own former students; commiserating with that former colleague who (ouch!) didn’t get tenure and has moved on; checking publishers’ booths for books to have the library order; delivering your paper to a packed room (more or less). Endless mealtime discussions about the good old days and the hopelessly directionless state of the field; late nights at the hotel bar; late mornings at the buffet breakfast. It’s all good. And then there are the actual sessions. You can only skip so many of them, ... more ]



7. The Cartography of the Derivation: A Brief History of the Louis and Clärque ExpeditionCarlos L. P. Rizziani (30 visits)

The Cartography of the Derivation: A Brief History of the Louis and Clärque Expedition. by Carlos L. P. Rizziani. This map, the first and most impressive of its kind, is the result of an arduous, unrelenting 40-year expedition across ungovernable expanses, swaths of rich morphology, unaccusative prairies, dangerous constraints, and inhospitable aspectual projections that constitute the known expanses of The Derivation. Prior to this vast undertaking, which cost the lives of more than 28 brave men and women (and at least nine children), efforts to properly govern the peoples of The Derivation were mostly ineffective. The very nature of political borders and binding domains were often in dispute, while secessions of ... more ]



8. Archives (29 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongeringfirst it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... more ]



9. The Lingo! A car designed for linguists... by linguistsPsammeticus Motors (27 visits)

Psammeticus Motors, www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, Psammeticus Motors proudly presents... The Lingo!, A car designed for linguists... by linguists., ... The PM Lingo is the first affordable luxury automobile ever designed for linguists, by linguists. No one knows what a real linguist wants and needs in a car like the folks at Psammeticus Motorsmore than just practical yet stylish transportation, the Lingo makes an important statement that only other linguists can fully understandjust like the best academic treatises. Stylish: The Lingo’s retro-chic typewriter-inspired body styling stands apart from the herd of cars driven ... more ]



10. Curses, Foiled Again!A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief (24 visits)

Curses, Foiled Again!. A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief. As is my wont, I spend a significant (p < 0.01) portion of the summer “J-months”June, July, 九月 Joulukuu, January, and Jasykõiin various Rivieras: French, Italian, Irish, Albanian, Austrian, Makarska, Mayan, Red Sea, Slovene, etc. etc. etc. This period has come to be known around SpecGram Towers as “Coup Season” during which various editorial entities in various roles and of various ranks try to stage various rebellions against my firm-but-fair editorial oversight (and various dictatorial whims). This most recent summer was no differentthey ... more ]



11. Good Enough for Folk EtymologyPart VIA. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius (23 visits)

Good Enough for Folk Etymology Part VI. A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius, X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies. The SpecGram Archive Elves recently made another large collection of documents available to the XQK Directorate, leaving them on our doorstep in black plastic sacks in the middle of the night. In order to avoid any more unfortunate incidents involving a cucumber, a marmot, or the Director’s favorite coffee mug, we were given the task of cataloging these documents. Going through the collection, we have found again that, while apparently lacking provenance (which the Archive Elves still attribute to a bizarre set of circumstances obscurely ... more ]



12. University News (22 visits)

University News. ‘How Are You?’ Set to Be Banned in Three Counties of The UK. by Ruthlessly Roving Reporter Miss Deakina Andrea Kirkhamia The local authorities of three counties of in the north of the UK are set to ban the conversational opener ‘How are you?’ after disturbing new evidence has come to light regarding the potentially highly damaging effects of its ambiguity. Wildonshire, Detshire and Shireshire, all in the north of England, were pilot counties for research into effects of the apparently harmless, indeed neutral-friendly, opening gambit common throughout the English-speaking world: ‘How are you?’ Associate Professor ... more ]



13. Vol CLXXXIV, No 2 (22 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXIV, Number 2 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Mikael Thompson, Senior Editor; Jonathan Downie, Contributing Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Mark Mandel; Assistant Editors: Emily Davis, Vincent Fish, Deak Kirkham, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Joe McAvoy, James Pasto, Mary Shapiro; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Now Largely Insect-Free; April 2019 ... more ]



14. About Us (22 visits)

Speculative Grammarian and SpecGram.com. Our Story. The august journal Speculative Grammarian has a long, rich, and varied history, weaving an intricate and subtle tapestry from disparate strands of linguistics, philology, history, politics, science, technology, botany, pharmacokinetics, computer science, the mathematics of humor, basket weaving, archery, glass blowing, roller coaster design, and bowling, among numerous other, less obvious fields. SpecGram, as it is known to devotees and sworn enemies alike, has for centuries sought to bring together the greatest yet least understood minds of the time, embedding itself firmly in the cultural and psychological matrix of the global society while ... more ] Podcast!



15. Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics (21 visits)

Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics. by Trey Jones. As a service to our young and impressionable readers who are considering pursuing a career in linguistics, Speculative Grammarian is pleased to provide the following Gedankenexperiment to help you understand the possibilities and consequences of doing so. For our old and bitter readers who are too far along in their careers to have any real hope of changing the eventual outcome, we provide the following as a cruel reminder of what might have been. Let the adventure begin ... more ] Book!



16. Letters to the Editor (CLXXXV.2) (21 visits)

Letters to the Editor. Dear Editors, Your July puzzle inspired me to put together a matrix-themed variant for the classroom. You can find it online, but you’ll be appalled at some of the results that pop up when you search for “Dominatrices”. Anyway, gotta run. Mistress Vela takes it out very hard on you if you’re late! Prof. Solomon Lappert, Sussex Linear Algebra Program P.S. Does this count as a submission? ... Dear Slappy, Coincidentally, the symbols in the Dominasals grid are a transcription of our last session with Mistress Vela. They’re only approximate due to restraints constraints on our articulators at the time —Eds. P.S. We’d call it more of a gag letter. ❦ ... more ]



17. Further Land-Grabbing in the Left PeripheryTel Monks (21 visits)

Further Land-Grabbing in the Left Periphery. Tel Monks, Student Emeritus. Modern syn­tacti­cians agree that the Left Periphery is ripe for further development since the territory was opened up by such luminaries as Rizzi (1997).i This paper states (stakes?) a new claim based on my extensive syntactic field studies in the Funny Pages. The Washington Post (April 9th, 2019), inter alia, published an episode of the Judge Parkerii strip including the following panel: I was naturally struck by the question from Sam Driver: “l can do what now?” This is clearly a wh-question presenting the required substitution of a wh-word for the Object NP; however, the ... more ]



18. The Historicity of Texts and the Textuality of HistoryBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press (20 visits)

Psammeticus Press, www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, The Historicity of Texts and the Textuality of History, by Edgartina Olláphersen and Olafrinia Etkarzön, Published 2009. Hardcover, xliv + 784 pages. Price: USD $299.95 In the latest addition to our world-famous Chiasmus Linguistics Project, Psammeticus Press is proud to present a pivotal work that no other academic linguistics press could ever have hoped to publish: The Historicity of Texts and the Textuality of History. This magnificent tome represents a significant advancement of knowledge in the noble field of linguistics. The authors, the two world-renowned scholars of historical sociopragmatic discourse analysis, ... more ]



19. Cryptolinguistic Puzzle ИMary Shapiro (19 visits)

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle И. Mary Shapiro, Truman State University. Like other cryptic crosswords, the clues in this puzzle are not straightforward. Unlike most, however, this one focuses mainly on languages and linguistics. For instance, the clue for Zapotec might be “Oto-Manguean variety alters pez coat” (anagram of pez coat), or “Indigenous Mexican language to destroy overtime prior to European Commission” (ZAP + O.T. + E.C.), or “a nice top, a zany blouse conceals retro Oaxacan language” (niCE TOP, A Zany), or many other combinations of puns, anagrams, or typographic quirks. Punctuation in clues is often misleading. Each clue contains both a ... more ]



20. The B-Cos® S-MobileAdvertisement (19 visits)

ADVERTISEMENT The B-Cos® S-Mobile. It’s hard enough for your Indo-European proto-speaker to figure out thousands of years of language change from Proto-Indo-European. It’s even harder when those changes are less regular than your baby. Mamas, don’t let your neo-grammarians grow up to be Neogrammarians. Get them the S-Mobile, the toy that lets your tots discover the messiness of diachronic linguistics through cute animals! It’s the only mobile guaranteed to improve your baby’s reflexes! The S-Mobile is another fine educational product from B-Cos® the first word in language learning. ... more ]



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Last updated Aug. 18, 2019.