Most Popular Pages—Last 7 Days

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1. Vol CLXXXI, No 2 (52 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXI, Number 2 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief Keith Slater, Executive Editor, Associate Editors, Pete Bleackley Jonathan Downie Mikael Thompson, Assistant Editors, Virginia Bouchard Mark Mandel Yuval Wigderson, Editorial Associates, Samuel Andersson Florian Breit Vincent Fish Anita G. Gorman Callum Robson Mary Shapiro Bill Spruiell Steve Straight Will Styler Daniel Swanson Don Unger Sheri Wells-Jensen, Joey Whitford, Comptroller General Best to Just Back Away Slowly, Without Making Eye Contact April 2018 ... more ]

2. The English PluralAl O’Moarfz (50 visits)

 The English Plural. Al O’Moarfz. I will discuss here an often misanalyzed part of the morphophophonology of English: the allomorphy of the plural suffix. Conventional (that is to say, boring) analyses hold that the suffix must be underlying /-z/ rather than underlying /-s/. An analysis with underlying /-s/ would require a rule of voicing after voiced segments, claimed to be undesirable based on words such as false. Merely describing this line of argumentation makes me physically sick. It should be clear to anyone with a basic training in linguistics that underlying /-s/ is a preferable analysis for empirical, theoretical, typological, and metacontrarian reasons. /s/ is evidently the least marked of the ... more ]

3. About Us (46 visits)

Speculative Grammarian and Our Story. The august journal Speculative Grammarian has a long, rich, and varied history, weaving an intricate and subtle tapestry from disparate strands of linguistics, philology, history, politics, science, technology, botany, pharmacokinetics, computer science, the mathematics of humor, basket weaving, archery, glass blowing, roller coaster design, and bowling, among numerous other, less obvious fields. SpecGram, as it is known to devotees and sworn enemies alike, has for centuries sought to bring together the greatest yet least understood minds of the time, embedding itself firmly in the cultural and psychological matrix of the global society while ... more ] Podcast!

4. To Shreds, You Say?The Impact of Poly-Catastrophic Mountaineering on Advances in Topographic LinguisticsThe “J. Farnsworths,” Hubert & Cubert (43 visits)

To Shreds, You Say?, The Impact of Poly-Catastrophic Mountaineering on Advances in Topographic Linguistics. The “J. Farnsworths,” Hubert & Cubert, (feat. Owrt-Eames N. Tadders), X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies. Back in 2013, Caleb Everett unveiled reports of fieldwork indicating that glottalic airstream mechanisms correlate with elevation: that is, ejectives are found in languages spoken way up high. We at the X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies immediately found ourselves wanting to correct the more egregious errors in this research (or, at least, in the popular press’s reporting of it, as we had not actually read the original work ourselves). To ... more ]

5. Archives (37 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongeringfirst it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... more ]

6. The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics (33 visits)

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguisticsand now it is available in book formboth physical and electronic! We wish we were kidding, but no, seriously, we’ve published a large collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost. From the Introduction: The past twenty-five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion in language description, and even ... more ]

7. Podcast—Language Made Difficult, Vol. L (31 visits)

Language Made Difficult, Vol. L — The SpecGram LingNerds are on their own this time. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the dangers of mispronouncing the names of Canadian provinces, and then advise students as to what they should *not* do. They also fail to celebrate the 50th episode. Many outtakes are provided. ... listen ]

8. Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics (30 visits)

Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics. by Trey Jones. As a service to our young and impressionable readers who are considering pursuing a career in linguistics, Speculative Grammarian is pleased to provide the following Gedankenexperiment to help you understand the possibilities and consequences of doing so. For our old and bitter readers who are too far along in their careers to have any real hope of changing the eventual outcome, we provide the following as a cruel reminder of what might have been. Let the adventure begin ... more ] Book!

9. Merchandise (30 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited issue SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. ... Discussion. As a result of initial positive feedback, ... more ]

10. Ministry of Propaganda (29 visits)

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. If you have ideas for other messages that need ... more ]

11. How Many is Umpteen?Ura Hogg (28 visits)

How Many is Umpteen?. A Linguistic and Mathematical Exploration and Explanation. brought to you by Ura Hogg, of Skaroo University 1, and the Letter U. We have all heard various people use the quasi-numerical expression umpteen to refer to a largish number of items, as in (1) below: (1) I have umpteen things to do before I can leave. What I plan to do in this brief paper is to determine how many umpteen is. First I feel I must in part justify the claim that umpteen can in fact refer to an exact numerical quantity despite its varying use. Though we often use vague number expressions such as in (2) and (3) below, we nearly as often use exact, though large, expressions, such as a ... more ] Book!

12. Cartoon Theories of LinguisticsPart IVStatistical Machine TranslationPhineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. (28 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part IV — Statistical Machine Translation. Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. We will dispense with the preliminaries, and get to the meat of the matter. For the next installment in our Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, we will turn our attention to statistical machine translation, using semi- automatically aligned texts: ... Next time: Phonetics vs. Phonology with guest cartoonist Hilário Parenchyma. References, Booth, A. D. L. Brandwood, and J. P. Cleave (1958). Mechanical resolution of linguistic problems. Butterworths Scientific Publications. Brown, P. S. Della Pietra, V. Della Pietra, and R. Mercer (1991). “The ... more ] Book!

13. Psammeticus Press (27 visits)

Psammeticus Press, BOOKS, SERIES, and MORE The following valuable volumes, spectacular series, and interesting items have been released with pride by Psammeticus Press, an academic publishing house founded in honor of the first and purest of linguistic inquirers: one might criticize his methods, but who could quibble with his results? Follow the links below to learn more about these fabulous books and excellent series, each destined to become a classic in the field. Relaunched JournalMunicipal Journal of Language Devolution There has been a lot of interest in environmental influences on language, including the emerging field of geophonetics. Other publishers can jump ... more ]

14. Panini Press (27 visits)

— Welcome to the online home of Panini Press, an academic publishing house formerly dedicated to the proposition that Linguistics is the noblest of the academic fields, but now with a focus on Subjects of more relevance to the Working Linguist’s everyday life and career. ❦पा Important announcements from Panini Press: ❧ 2018 Conferences in Nerdolinguistics (March 2018): In response to the rise of articles on the translation of names in Harry Potter and the newly jiggly emerging field of Pokémonastics, Speculative Grammarian and Panini Press are proud to announce a whole new series of conferences on Nerdolinguistics. ❦पा, ... more ]

15. Latin to 与工以口-尺口爪凡以 Converter (26 visits)

Anybody and everybody uses Roman script. 山巨 刀巨与巨尺立巨 仍巨十十巨尺。 What we need is something more distinctive. 与工以口-尺口爪凡以 亡口爪仍工以巨与 十廿巨 仍巨与十 口斤 巨凡与十 凡以刀 山巨与十。 Elegant, refined, and beautiful! 凹与巨 与工以口-尺口爪凡以! ... more ]

16. The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature (25 visits)

The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature. Welcome to Online Selections from The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature, researched, compiled, and edited by the lexicographers, etymologists, and philologists of Speculative Grammarian. ... The editors of Speculative Grammarian are delighted to present selections of the fifty-volume lexicographic opus, The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature, online for the first time ever. The Compleat Encyclopaedia is a one-of-a-kind resource, ... more ]

17. An Introduction to Linguistics in Haiku FormAnonymous (25 visits)

An Introduction to, Linguistics in Haiku Form. Anonymous. linguistic theory, hidden representations, to surface structures phonology is, sound patterns of languages, phonemes, allophones phonetics is sounds, articulation of them, acoustics, hearing comp. linguistics is, theory into efficient, implementation morphology is, if same structure, same meaning, then it’s a morpheme syntactic theory, blah blah chomsky chomsky blah, blah chomsky blah blah ... more ] Podcast! Book!

18. Son of Lingua Pranca (23 visits)

Son of Lingua Pranca. T. Ernst & E. Smith, Editors. Indiana University. IULC. November 1979. ... more ]

19. Phorensic PhonologyThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™ (23 visits)

Phorensic Phonology. The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™. Forensic linguistics has received a fair amount of attention of late. This has mainly involved the use of corpus linguistics to identify the authors of disputed documents, but the field is older and more broadly based than is generally realised. How did the following sound changes put away a notorious prohibition-era gangster? If you think you’ve figured it out, send your solution to the editors of SpecGram by April 15th, 2018, and you could win some SpecGram merch. The correct solution and winners, if any, will be announced in the next issue of Speculative Grammarian. — The one-word answer to March’s question, What ... more ]

20. Cartoon Theories of LinguisticsPart EPhonetics vs. PhonologyHilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. (22 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology. Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. We will skip the introduction, as we have been there, done that. Once more into the breach! For this installment in our series on Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, we will turn our attention to Phonetics and Phonology and the difference between the two: Phonetics:, ... Phonology:, ... Thanks to Professor Phlogiston, of the Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn, for the opportunity of a lifetime, as a student, to, on this occasion, share with so many of my fellow linguisticians my views, as illustrated above, concerning matters, which are of such immeasurable import ... more ] Merch! Book!

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Last updated Apr. 22, 2018.