Most Popular Pages—Last 7 Days

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1. Macron to Face Le Pen in French Election (382 visits)

Macron to Face Le Pen in French Election. SpecGram Wire Services. The Front National candidate, Marine Le Pen, has reacted to the news that Emmanuel Macron will be her opponent in the final round of the French Presidential election. “Here I will draw the line,” she said. “This Macron, he is not French enough. We have the acute, the grave, the circumflex, the cedilla and the tréma. Surely these are all the diacritics French needs? We must not allow more to come in from other languages.” When asked about Le Pen’s statement, Macron replied, “What France needs now is an accent that leans neither to the left, like the acute, nor to the right, like the grave, but stays right in the ... more ]

2. Will the Real Linguists Please Stand Up?Prof. Trent Slater (199 visits)

Will the Real Linguists Please Stand Up?. Prof. Trent Slater, Professor of Unprovable Linguistics Literature. With the rise in machine translation, forensic linguistics, literary linguistics and <shudder> the internet, there is growing lexicographical confusion over the meaning and scope of the term “linguist”.1 In an effort to resolve this confusion once and for all, we interviewed three “linguists” for their views. Linguist A is a professor in unintelligible constructed proto-languages at the University of Jobless Graduates. Linguist B is a freelance translator, specialising in documents for long-term archiving in time capsules. Linguist C is a world-leading ... more ]

3. How to Cheat at LinguisticsBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press (78 visits)

Psammeticus Press,, NEW BOOK How to Cheat at Linguistics, by Geoffrey Sagum, Psammeticus Textbooks in Linguistics, Published 2005. Softcover, 113 pages. Price: $17.95 ($0.00 if you steal it!) From the practical to the arcane, How to Cheat at Linguistics offers an admirably comprehensive guide to the field’s standard answers. The book is written at a level which should be accessible to both undergraduates and pre-comprehensive graduate students. In a general introductory chapter, How to Cheat includes description of standard cheating techniques, including testing strategies from the time-honored crib notes to today’s PDAs and text messages. ... more ] Book!

4. Vol CLXXVIII, No π (72 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXVIII, Number π ... Speculative Grammarian, in association with, Psammeticus Press, is proud to present a special, supplemental duograph, Pseudo-Psiblings, by Trey Jones, &, On Pseudo-Psiblings, by Fillastre Pèl-Roig, et al. Trey Jones, Managing Editor Keith Slater, Executive Editor, Pseudo-Psiblings Mid-April 2016 ... more ]

5. Ministry of Propaganda (72 visits)

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. If you have ideas for other messages that need ... more ]

6. The Future English BibleBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press (67 visits)

Psammeticus Press,, The Future English Bible. Psammeticus Press. The market for English language Bibles is lucrative, and any publisher worth its stock price is seeking to further edify the faithful by issuing its own proprietary English version. The visionaries at Psammeticus Press, though, can smell an over-crowded niche a mile away, and for some time we have been ruminating on how to overcome this difficulty and horn in on the Bible market. The key is this: most Bible publishers don’t know squat about linguistics. Fortunately for us, we do. What’s more, we know enough about linguistics to be able to predict, based on our latest Language Change ... more ]

7. Archives (57 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongeringfirst it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... more ]

8. Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics (56 visits)

Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics. by Trey Jones. As a service to our young and impressionable readers who are considering pursuing a career in linguistics, Speculative Grammarian is pleased to provide the following Gedankenexperiment to help you understand the possibilities and consequences of doing so. For our old and bitter readers who are too far along in their careers to have any real hope of changing the eventual outcome, we provide the following as a cruel reminder of what might have been. Let the adventure begin ... more ] Book!

9. Pseudo-Psiblings™And Other Views of Multiply-Blended FamiliesTrey Jones (44 visits)

Pseudo-Psiblings™ And Other Views of Multiply-Blended Families. A proposal for improving and clarifying family nomenclature for the 21st century. by Trey Jones. Introduction. Language evolvesotherwise we’d all be able to read Beowulf in the original, right? Sometimes language changes in response to cultural changes. But sometimes it doesn’t change fast enough to keep up with cultural changes. This paper seeks to give English a little push in a much-needed direction. There has been a fairly radical change in Western society in the last hundred years or so. It used to be that if a woman was on her fourth husband, one automatically felt a little sorry for ... more ]

10. Phonology HeroXerus & Ratufa (44 visits)

ADVERTISEMENT Phonology Hero, Xerus & Ratufa. Xerus & Ratufa, mongers of the better sort of product for the better sort of scholar, are pleased to announce that they have joined with Han-d’Ouéviemme Enterprises LLC as the exclusive American distributor of their latest interactive computerized game. The interactive electronic gaming world was taken by storm in 2005 by Guitar Hero, and in its wake a number of interactive musico-kinesthetic programs were released, Trombone Boxer, Drum-Esthetica, Horn Scrum, and Violist Chase chief among them. Who can forget the thrill of going one-on-one with the greatest boxers of history while playing the greatest concertos in ... more ]

11. About Us (43 visits)

Speculative Grammarian and The august journal Speculative Grammarian has a long, rich, and varied history, weaving an intricate and subtle tapestry from disparate strands of linguistics, philology, history, politics, science, technology, botany, pharmacokinetics, computer science, the mathematics of humor, basket weaving, archery, glass blowing, roller coaster design, and bowling, among numerous other, less obvious fields. SpecGram, as it is known to devotees and sworn enemies alike, has for centuries sought to bring together the greatest yet least understood minds of the time, embedding itself firmly in the cultural and psychological matrix of the global society while simultaneously illuminating, ... more ] Podcast!

12. The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics (41 visits)

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguisticsand now it is available in book formboth physical and electronic! We wish we were kidding, but no, seriously, we’ve published a large collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost. From the Introduction: The past twenty-five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion in language description, and even ... more ]

13. Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!Part VIIIBook Announcement from Panini Press (35 visits)

PAID ADVERTISEMENT — — New from Panini Press: Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!—Part VIII As any linguist knows, it’s usefuland sometimes vitalto get an accurate picture of a language you’re not a specialist in, and to do it quickly. Unfortunately, up to now, doing so has involved trying to plow through reference grammars, and we all know the problems with those! You can cut through all that and get all the really important information about a languageits Sprachgeist, if you willwith a volume from Panini Press’s continuing series! ❦पा — Available ... more ]

14. Puzzles and Games (32 visits)

SpecGram Puzzles and Games. Collected all in one place for your brain-teasing pleasure, below is a list of the currently available linguistically themed puzzles and games that have appeared over the years in SpecGram and related publications. ... Acrostics: ... AkróstichonDr. Dr. Fortina Haecceity, M.D. Ph.D. Speculative Grammarian CLVII.η July 2009 ... LinguacrosticDrs. Oniomania Succedaneum and Lex Quisquis, Ph.D.s, Speculative Grammarian CLVII.η July 2009 Anagrams: ... Lingo JumbleOrang Pendek, D.Sc. and Orang Mawas, Litt.D. Speculative Grammarian CLVII.η July 2009 ... The “Panama Guzzler” Anagram ... more ]

15. Cartoon Theories of LinguisticsPart EPhonetics vs. PhonologyHilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. (27 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology. Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. We will skip the introduction, as we have been there, done that. Once more into the breach! For this installment in our series on Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, we will turn our attention to Phonetics and Phonology and the difference between the two: Phonetics:, ... Phonology:, ... Thanks to Professor Phlogiston, of the Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn, for the opportunity of a lifetime, as a student, to, on this occasion, share with so many of my fellow linguisticians my views, as illustrated above, concerning matters, which are of such immeasurable import ... more ] Merch! Book!

16. The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature (25 visits)

The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature. Welcome to Online Selections from The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature, researched, compiled, and edited by the lexicographers, etymologists, and philologists of Speculative Grammarian. ... The editors of Speculative Grammarian are delighted to present selections of the fifty-volume lexicographic opus, The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature, online for the first time ever. The Compleat Encyclopaedia is a one-of-a-kind resource, ... more ]

17. Merchandise (25 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited issue SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. ... Discussion. As a result of initial positive feedback, ... more ]

18. Podcast—Language Made Difficult, Vol. L (25 visits)

Language Made Difficult, Vol. L — The SpecGram LingNerds are on their own this time. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the dangers of mispronouncing the names of Canadian provinces, and then advise students as to what they should *not* do. They also fail to celebrate the 50th episode. Many outtakes are provided. ... listen ]

19. Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor-at-BatButch McBastard (24 visits)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor-at-Bat. Butch McBastard. In the early 1990s, then-Associate-Editor Trey Jones submitted a short article to SpecGram, giving a concise but mathematically correct 237-page outline of the sociolinguistic, etymological, and morphological necessity of a new system of kinship nomenclature in English, most of it consisting of the syllable / ʋƙʲɢ̈ɽø̃ᵚŋ̊ʘʷt̪ˡ /, spoken with different tones, preferably underwater. As was the usual practice at the time, a team of editors was assigned to whipping the paper into publishable shape. The process, which often takes a year or ... more ]

20. RebusWulfila Bruinne, M.F.A., Ph.D. (24 visits)

Rebus. by Wulfila Bruinne, M.F.A. Ph.D. University of North Oodaaq. This puzzle is worth 3 points. ... Lingo Jumble—Orang Pendek, D.Sc. and Orang Mawas, Litt.D. ... E’s-y Cryptogram—Prof. Dr. phil. habil. Erlösende Einigkeit, ... SpecGram Vol CLVII, No η Contents, ... more ]

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Last updated Apr. 28, 2017.