SpecGram—Merchandise

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise

Introduction

In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited issue SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive.

Discussion

As a result of initial positive feedback, we’ve expanded the range of available products to include sweatshirts, hoodies ¹, coffee mugs, mouse pads, tote bags, and even boxers and thongs.²

Example Data

Click on any of the images below to be taken to a CafePress ⁵ page where you can browse and purchase items of interest with the images and taglines depicted below. You may freely return to this page from the CafePress website in order to browse additional items in a different style. Items from multipe CafePress “stores” may be purchased at once ⁶ when your browsing is complete.

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics:

“Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology,” SpGr CLIII.1




“Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part ж—The Trouble with NLP,” SpGr CLIII.4

*Famous SpecGram* Images:**
“Linguistic Topology,” SpGr CL.2		“A Stratificational Approach to Making Macaroni and Cheese,” PsQ XVI.1

*Famous SpecGram* Taglines:**
SpecGram Volume CXLIX, No. 1		SpecGram Volume CXLIX, No. 2

Stupid Phonetics Tricks:

Read more about “double-dot wide-o”...

A Timeless Classic:

Conclusions

Now you can proudly display your allegiance to Speculative Grammarian to the world with a SpecGram T-shirt, coffee mug, or mouse pad. Confuse your colleagues. Flabbergast your friends. Enfeeble your enemies. All will ⁷ bow before you once they realize the full magnitude of your loyalty to SpecGram.

So that we may gather more data and further our research in this area, we ask that you please send your comments and suggestions to us.

Notes

¹ Research into the exact nature of hoodies is still ongoing. An initial analysis of the data indicates they may be underlyingly sweatshirts, which have become [+hood, +zipper] as a result of an optional MakeTrendy transformation.

² “Research” that can only be described as “non-scientific,”³ which was undertaken by our newly formed and not entirely trusted marketing department, indicates that so-called “intimate apparel” is a “hot property” at the current time. We are attempting to cross-validate this determination by applying advanced socio-linguistic analysis techniques, but the data is somewhat recalcitrant. Should we determine that the reputation of our illustrious institution is in any way impugned by offering this type of merchandise,⁴ we will retract it and hoist the marketing department by their collective petard.

³ And being social scientists, you know our standards here are pretty low.

⁴ The “double-dot wide-o” thongs are particularly troublesome, though—despite significant introspection—it is difficult to say exactly why.

⁵ CafePress.com is a trusted third-party website that produces and ships all SpecGram merchandise.

⁶ Purchasing items from multiple “stores” at once is a clever way to save on shipping charges, which is generally very important to nearly starving grad students.

⁷ The word will is used in this context with the usual polysemy found in the Standard Marketing Disclaimers Apply sociolect of English. Other meanings may include but are not limited to may, are not likely to, and most certainly will not, as appropriate. Your mileage may vary. Not all products are suitable for all uses. Some products may not be suitable for any uses (see note 4). Nothing in life is guaranteed.