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Stymie Stylometry!
Do you have a vitally important, world-shattering, culture-shifting, society-upending rant, screed, or manifesto that you are unwilling to publish because The Man will certainly come after you? You are right to be concerned, because your language can and will betray you!
Издатели
Галактики-Мозга
Санкт-Петербург, РФ
Stylometry—a nefarious statistical linguistic technique—can be used to identify the unconscious fingerprint of your language, providing authoritarian authorities with a lodestar to follow right to your doorstep! Radicals such as Ted Kaczynski, Joe Klein, and Bill Shakespeare have all had their authorship revealed by pesky statistical philologers with too much free time on their hands.
Contrariwise, none of our clients have ever been indicted or captured alive! We regularly send investigators on wild goose chases as far afield as Mongolia!
Our secret is to employ cantankerous and opinionated copyeditors with just a hint of malignant narcissism. Their nit-picking prescriptivist superiority complexes mean that they leave their literary fingerprints all over anything they edit, demanding innumerable small changes that affect neither meaning nor clarity—but which skew the written style of a text at the most fundamental (and statistically significant) level.
No need to walk dangerously on the metaphorical side of the road, where passing automobiles and ipsokinetikons full of nosy parkers can sideswipe you as you trudge gloriously toward the better and brighter future you envision. With a comfortably large stylometric devil strip between you and that threat, you can trudge in peace!
We also provide fully anonymized publishing services for manuscripts that are a little too... spicy for other publishers. We can also help plagiarists, thesis purchasers, and other literary outsiders elide the source of important texts.
Contact us for
rates today!
