Not a wire news service but still more reliable than most newspapers.
In a discovery that has shocked linguists everywhere, Dr Reg Uvular of Grand Mer University has announced the discovery of a language with no irregular verbs and an entirely phonetic writing system. Isnofayre, part of the Banned-U family of languages, is spoken by a small group of scientists, statisticians and mathematicians in the Fibonacci Forest in Central West Kepeedia. Theorists and field linguists alike have been baffled by the fact that its users have survived for centuries without silent letters, archaic spelling rules or verbs that conjugate randomly. Linguistic Philosophers and traditional theoreticians have vowed to ignore such uncomfortable data, in line with their usual practice whenever real data intrudes into their work.